The Blue Shell is bogus. You’ll never win the race.

So I’ve been having my Media Studies students break down what’s culturally encoded in the entertainment we consume. But what’s up with a rotund, conspicuously Italian, working class plumber-hero perpetually saving a damsel-in-distress princess? Why, for instance, does Mario always remain a plumber after he preserves the status quo and restores order to Mushroom Kingdom? His reward is, what, a kiss? No social mobility? Bullshit. Mario is a victim of a vicious class system, yo. Maybe Bowser just wants to liberate the oppressed. What if he’s the enlightened one, Mario’s a prisoner in a cave, and Peach is casting shadows on the wall?

In other words, I hate Rainbow Road.

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