Wait a minute. How is this not blowing up my Twitter feed? Let’s forget the fact that I found it on a video game website, and the fact that I was on a video game website. Despite all our talk about video games, I don’t really play them that often, or at least not often enough to reasonably justify surfing video game sites as often as I do. IGN is fine, but the minor nostalgia-laden dopamine release I get from what is effectively scrolling through my irrecoverable childhood doesn’t sufficiently warrant my traffic there. It’s a bad habit, part of the persistently annoying site checklist I unconsciously rip through every time I open a browser: the likes of IGN, ESPN, Twitter, Facebook, gmail, Amazon (screen shopper, rare buyer) highlight my personal vortex.
Parallel universes? Mini black holes? THAT is the stuff I should be trying to understand. But opening up a new tab and exploring something I don’t already know? That’s not really how the internet works. It feeds me to myself and myself to me. It’s a vicious (and I have to tell myself delicious) cycle of a stupid snake eating its own tail.
Anyway, I’m ready to worship at the altar of CERN. Show us the ways!