The blue light of death.

For the first time since maybe July, right before I left for India, I sat down to play a video game. It was the beta for the upcoming Star Wars: Battlefront. I’d like to think I sat down for pleasure, or even better, a modicum of joy. But then I was brought back to an episode of Pete Holmes’ podcast, You Made It Weird (my current favorite podcast), during which the topic of addiction came up. Holmes posited that an addiction itself isn’t the problem. For instance, if I drink, drinking isn’t the problem; it’s my solution to some problem I’m unwilling to face.

Playing video games is typically regarded as problematic. I can’t say that I always get something worthwhile out of a gaming experience, so I understand the argument. It’s a potentially addictive habit, but everything is in some way evading problems we’d rather not think about (e.g. mortality), so why bother questioning the behavior when I have Stormtroopers to kill and a Hoth base to defend?

(Given my relentless inquiry stance, asking a question about why I should bother questioning anything is right in line with another addiction altogether: skepticism. But let’s not regress into that rabbit hole.)

To make a long story short (because the beta is almost over), I did start to wonder to what problem video games were serving as my solution. What issue am I not confronting when I turn on my PS4? Why did I buy a PS4 in the first place?

Something to do with relationships, man, but I’m clearly not ready to write about it. And so it goes. Back to the comforting blue light of oblivion…

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