Being in Florida with my family returns me to cable access, which has very few rewards. Every so often though, a gem of a commercial comes on. This one ushered me back to my childhood, specifically to the unparalleled glory of American Gladiators and its Atlasphere game. The opportunity to roll around in a cage while crashing into a modern barbarian horde? Yes, please. Way more of a level playing field than Powerball, where the PED-laced behemoths stand in front of baskets that you’re meant to somehow score in.
But forget American Gladiators. The (absurdly dumb) future is here. Knockerball. The (self-promoted) “ultimate contact sport that’s hitting America.” Beautiful. I’m certainly ready to “get in the ball.”