One True…I’m not a writer.

Fuller’s no Hemingway. But he’s definitely transforming into a Writer. That thing that we (in the most heinously inclusive intellectualized sense of the never-democratic pronoun) all can conceptualize relatively easy, and, if we’re concerned mainly with selling out, can lean into and enact fully. Among the qualities of a Writer is surrendering to the Writing Industrial Complex and paying loads of money for the mere sight of a possible opportunity, not actual access to it. Another is romanticizing your process.

I was surprised to see Fuller take a turn toward sincere insight into his inspiration. Until I situated that within the necessary narrative he’s constructing about himself as Writer. He needs, via his writing, an origin story. Hence the description of the Goldilocks conditions that facilitate his creative flow. All writers buy into their own “needs” and reify them, believing that by translating them into a clear routine, they’re summoning wisdom. And if they’re summoning wisdom, their methods are worthy of being shared; in other words, writers generate their own value by manufacturing their writing process as a product to be sold to other would-be writers, who are all busy doing the same thing.

I’m not a writer. I don’t have a method. I work when I feel like it. Often, what I produce is garbage. This post is likely an example of that. I have minimal discipline past a certain length of time. I can be prolific for a few months, and then it feels like I’ve settled into The Routine. But then I lapse into some other interest, or I await inspiration. I dabble in possible work modes, but I don’t commit to any of them. Probably because nothing’s at stake for me yet. Writer isn’t my identity, nor am I wholeheartedly invested in it becoming that. As a result, I remain a dilettante. I enjoy writing. I feel like I discover/create myself through it, but it’s not my Thing.

Teaching probably has been my Thing for the past decade, and I’m letting that go, so perhaps I’ll have an answer (a story) for Fuller if I decide to make Writer my existential essence, i.e. if I decide to make writing my commodifiable activity.

1 Comment

  1. dasfuller

    Don’t be so naive, son. You think “selling out” is just handing in a manuscript and then collecting a paycheck? There’s a whole game involved, and you’ve got to play it. PLAY THE GAME, SON.


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