7/11: Never Forget

Donald Trump, whose position on the empathy scale is somewhere between velcro and a dry erase marker, reminds us all why we must never forget that tragic day when apparently the hot dog machine stopped rolling properly. As we know, we have experienced no greater threat to our nation’s security than the possible loss of Slurpees and Big Gulps. Donald Trump was there for it, noting, “And I saw the greatest people I’ve ever seen in action.” When asked about the future of this great American business, Trump added, “We know it’s going to come back. If I’m president, it’s going to come back so fast, you won’t even believe it.” And that’s why Trump is here: to make America fast, convenient.

Oh thank heaven for malapropisms that will somehow strengthen a political candidate’s appeal.

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