Agent pitches I wrote for my book, Birdland, in an over-perfumated hotel room after eating too much Mexican

  1. If True Detective season 2 didn’t suck, had a love child with Pynchon’s Inherent Vice, and that love child decided to go to veterinarian school…
  2. If Raymond Chandler dropped acid and snuck into the National Zoo’s Bird House…
  3. If a Baltimore pigeon grew proper human arms and legs and decided to overthrow the government…
  4. Cockatiel bartenders and budgie strippers.
  5. The answer to the color theory question: what happens to the colors yellow, green, and blue if a red light is shown on them?  Like, what would a budgie look like at a strip club?
  6. In a world of corruption, drugs, and murder: birds and dingoes.
  7. Why did the chicken cross the road?  To muscle up the old raven strip club owner for selling heroin without asking their boss’s permission.
  8. A pigeon revolutionary sleeps with the daughter of a blue jay crime boss, triggering the genocide of the passenger pigeons.

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